My husband, Marc, is now officially unemployed. He’s still waiting for his last pay (which, we honestly think would just be a few cents since our loan would be credited from it), but so far, I think we’re holding up. Financially, at least.
Our web design company is doing quite ok, and though it takes about a month for dollar checks to be cleared, blogging is also helping. But the thing is, I’d have to work extra hard now in order to accommodate more design projects—laziness just isn’t an option. Marc’s the one who attends client meetings and all those organizational stuff so my work flow won’t be disrupted and I won’t get too tired, but the workload just doesn’t allow me to have some time to do household work.
Our dirty laundry reached incredible heights when Marc and I finally decided that we got to do a bit of role-reversal until we get organized in this new setup. To be honest, I’ve relaxed my work schedule a bit when I got married. Marc had a regular job then, so we didn’t have to worry about cash flowing in. But now, we only have two sources of income left, our web design company and blogging. And frankly, I’m a bit overwhelmed with the sudden change in work schedule that I’ve been frequently forgetting major things (but yes, my memory for minute details is still intact).
So there. I taught Marc how to do the laundry last Sunday. He seemed to enjoy it, and he didn’t stop until he finished all mountain-loads of dirty laundry. He washed the dishes and cleaned the house. But he didn’t cook, I did. I won’t say that I’m already a great cook, but I have been able to come up with dishes that are a bit more complicated than simply frying. Marc can fry stuff, but we thought it would be for both our interests to leave the cooking to me—unless we want to end up with heart attacks for eating oily food all the time.
Truth be told, I did enjoy doing the laundry when I first got married. I actually thought it was fun back then. But now? Heh. No way. Now, I’m really hoping Marc would continue to enjoy doing the laundry so we won’t have to switch back roles 😀
I have a feeling that our little role-reversal would be quite a topic among our relatives. Not surprising, considering that the Philippines is a bit of a patriarchal society. Men are “supposed†to be the breadwinners, women are supposed to stay home and do the laundry. Although more and more women are working nowadays, it’s still not considered “normal†when it’s the husband who stays at home to do the household chores (though technically, I stay at home for work too :P). Marc and I would probably get some wisecracks over our decision to do a role-reversal, but hey, it’s the most logical to do right now—we don’t want me to drop dead in stress and tiredness, nor do we want Marc to burn a hole right through our bed with his ass for sleeping too much.
What do you think, boys and girls? Is it ok for men to stay home and do housework while women bring home the bacon? Marc and I would stand firm with our decision no matter what, but it would be interesting to know what others think about a setup like this 😛
Fire away…
If I had a husband, I wouldn’t mind if he did the chores. I’m not really fond of household chores. But, then again, I’m a girl… let’s hear what the boys have to say. (I really can’t imagine Marc M. doing the same for Sharm… hohumm… so I salute your husband!).
Personally,It would not be a problem. My Parents raised us doing household work and I like to cook. Plus, it helps if you live alone away from your immediate family here or in another country for some time. A lot of my married friends divide the work. So you might find people working during the day and at night doing the laundry or cook the meal.
I suppose hiring household help is not an option? Anyway, I’m sure you two will settle on some routine soon. 🙂
I am a guy. I live alone. I do the cooking. I do the laundry. I write for my blog. I work during nightshift. I plan to go to school, though one subject only.
It’s the 21st century. These things are the norm nowadays. I still live with my parents but I do my own laundry, iron my clothes and even pitch in some of my earnings to foot the electric bill because heck, I use the PC an average of 15 hrs a day.
It does take away time and strength from the work flow but it’s all part of living.
When my dad’s business went to bankruptcy, he stayed at home and became a house husband. House husband these days are common too. ^.^;;
I take care of the kids (more fun than washing dishes,laundry, cooking, etc – though I used to do my fair share when we had no kids yet). I get to watch TV with them, horseplay, make up stories, eat, goof around, laugh, etc. Oh, and I do the errands (Buying this and that). I’m the driver, kargador.
Bottom line: Pitch in, do your share. There is no such thing as a man’s job or woman’s job when it comes to marriage. It’s always a WE thing. After all, husband and wife are One.
PS: I just wish that women (wives) should make a list of things to do in the house. Though it may be obvious to my wife that the aquarium needs cleaning or the shelves need wiping, men do not see and think the way women do. We can’t read minds and implicits or pahapyaws. In general, we are clueless about house work (and about a lot of stuff not related to cars, TV, electronics and sports). At least in my case.
Interesting topic. I believe we really have to change our mindset to make things work these days, chores don’t have gender(as long as you can physically do it). Having a helper here is too expensive(min $6.15/hr) so we do everything we can. I do the laundry because I’m too picky on how it’s done and how it should smell. I cook most of the meals and my husband washes the dishes. He brings home the bacon but he still does chores- mainly yard work. I do light yard work too. We function as a team and whoever does something best is to ‘man’ the position. That’s why I’m not too surprised of your arrangement with Marc.
Hello, I’m using your teme Dapit Hapon. Thanks is a fantastic template!
God Bless you and your husband!
Hi Gail,
I have been reading your blog off and on for a while now and I’ve found much of your posts humorous and sometimes inspiring. This particular subject motivates me to comment.
I consider my husband to be modern and open, and also considerate and kind. Not only would he not mind swapping ‘traditional’ roles with me and assuming the domestic chores in order to let me bring home the major side of bacon, but he already helps out a lot now.
He cooks about 20% of the time and packs the lunches for the kids every morning (and sometimes me) because I have to be at work earlier (I am a webmaster and database administrator and he is a WAN engineer. We are in the U.S. and a Filipino American. He is Italian/English. I don’t speak a word of Tagalog but we are planning a trip to Bohol this June).
*okay–back to the subject*
I think a husband and wife should always decide what’s best for their situation (financial and emotional).
Kudos to you and Marc for the great team work and wonderful blogwork!